Dorthy Haskell has loved horses all her life. After receiving some training and working with adults as a certified clinical hypnotherapist, she decided to combine her lifelong love of horses with her skills and training, and now serves children and teenagers with her equine therapy practice.
I loved this episode because like any good therapist, Dorthy left me feeling enlightened and encouraged with reminders on how anyone can navigate the challenges of life and emotions that come with them. She talks about how this works in her practice and what it looks like, and also shares some inspiring stories of some of the clients she’s had the privilege to assist on their journey.
Listen to the episode to learn more and at the end I also give a shout out to therapists for the good work they do as they use their profession and training to serve and assist so many.
Dorthy's email if you would like to get in touch with her:
dorthy.aph@gmail.com
Follow the podcast on social media:
Do Something More Instagram
Do Something More Facebook
Dorthy Haskell has loved horses all her life. After receiving some training and working with adults as a certified clinical hypnotherapist, she decided to combine her lifelong love of horses with her skills and training, and now serves children and teenagers with her equine therapy practice.
I loved this episode because like any good therapist, Dorthy left me feeling enlightened and encouraged with reminders on how anyone can navigate the challenges of life and emotions that come with them. She talks about how this works in her practice and what it looks like, and also shares some inspiring stories of some of the clients she’s had the privilege to assist on their journey.
Listen to the episode to learn more and at the end I also give a shout out to therapists for the good work they do as they use their profession and training to serve and assist so many.
Dorthy's email if you would like to get in touch with her:
dorthy.aph@gmail.com
Follow the podcast on social media:
Do Something More Instagram
Do Something More Facebook
Melissa: You are listening to the do something more podcast, and this is episode 45 with Dorothy Haskell, helping children and teenagers navigate emotions with equine therapy. Welcome to the Do Something More podcast, a service oriented show where we highlight the helpers who inspire us all to do something more.
Melissa: I'm your host, Melissa Draper. Thank you so much for being here. Welcome to another episode of the podcast. And today, I'm excited for this conversation.
Melissa: Because it's someone that I already knew in real life.
Melissa: Dorothy Haskell is joining me on the.
Melissa: Podcast here today to share about some.
Melissa: Of the good work that she does with horses and children and even a little hypnotherapy. But I'm going to let her get into all that and explain it to us in more detail.
Melissa: So, Dorothy, welcome to the show.
Dorthy: Thank you. I'm excited to be here.
Melissa: Why don't we just have you start off with a small introduction of yourself, and then we'll go into exactly what it is, the work that you do.
Dorthy: Great. Well, I grew up in Genola, not very far from where I live now. I have been a mom for most of my adult life, just loving to live on our small farm, take care of our family. We raised five kids as of December. They're all adults. They're all officially adults now.
Melissa: That's a big milestone.
Dorthy: It is. Feels a little strange, but, yeah, kind of enjoying a new stage in my life, but, yes, we own our own small farm. I've been around horses my entire life, and we have probably about nine horses here right now, and cattle and our fun little corgi, and we just have a great life enjoying all of that.
Melissa: Yeah, that's great. Well, let's go into this. You kind of told me beforehand how you started off as a certified clinical hypnotherapist, and then that helps lead you to the work that you're doing now. So let's just get into that for a little bit how this all started, the work that you do with your horses. Yeah.
Dorthy: I loved. Even though I was a stay at home mom all that time, I have a great passion for learning, and one of the things that I've always been fascinated with is how the mind works and why people do what they do and how two people can be raised so similar and have the same genetics and yet grow up to have very different views and behaviors. So I learned a lot about those type of things before I went into my training and became a certified clinical hypnotherapist. At the same time, I was also giving writing lessons to kids and teenagers. And I loved that. I love working with kids and teenagers. I tease people that my favorite part of being a parent was when my children were teenagers.
Melissa: That's awesome.
Dorthy: So I feel so relaxed and comfortable and just truly enjoy being with them. As I learned and I had the training about the mind, it just opened up a whole new world for me of what's possible. And really it's up to us and having that feeling of empowerment to create what we want in our lives. And that begins in our mind and with what we choose to focus on and that we really do have the ability to, in a large degree, affect our emotions and our inner world by the things that we think. And so I wanted to really share some of these things with the kids I was working with. I started out doing clinical hypnotherapy with adults, but these kids that I was doing writing lessons and then hearing stories of parents and loved ones worried about their teenagers and their kids and not knowing how to help them, and especially going through Covid and having a lot of those issues come up, I found myself volunteering to help with some of the kids in my area that I had heard through friends that were their parents, that they were struggling. And so I started doing that little bit here and there and kind of melding the two worlds together, the horses and the training with the mind and the emotions. And it is a perfect fit. It literally couldn't be more perfect. And so it's kind of been a learning process, knowing how, because there's no textbook for this, right, how to incorporate these two worlds together. And so I've really been working at that, and I feel like I've finally figured out a really good way to do that. And the kids love it. The horse loves it. It's just a perfect combination, and it's fun to see the light come on in their eyes, and it's fun to see how much of a wonderful connection they have with the horse. And it's an enjoyable process. So they're learning, and it's fun.
Melissa: Yeah.
Melissa: Well, I would love to hear a little bit more of that. What is kind of the process that you do as you have a child or a teenager come to you? I'm sure some of them have not had experience with horses, maybe, or some of them have. And how do you go about going through that and connecting with them and seeing how you can help them?
Dorthy: Well, first off, I usually have a really good visit with the parents to make sure that it's a good fit. Most of the time, the people that the kids that I've worked with, they know that they need help. They're struggling with their emotions and feeling out of control and overwhelmed. But they are very hesitant or flat out don't want to go see a quote unquote therapist, sit in a chair. And that scares them or that makes them a little nervous. And sometimes also they're willing. But a couple of the people have not. During COVID and stuff, it was hard to get in to a therapist. So it's really important to connect with the parent and see that it's a good fit and that they feel comfortable with what I do. So that kind of is where it starts talking with the parent and making sure that they feel comfortable and that it's a good fit for them. So there's a lot of questions to answer there. And I like to do that and work with the parents first. Then they bring their child here, and I start by just introducing them to Levi, who is our gilding that I do the equine therapy with. Levi is amazing. He's about 15 years old, which is quite old for a horse. He's a big horse. He's a big, beautiful buckskin gilding. He looks like spirit from the movie spirit. That's what he looks like. He has long, beautiful black mane and tail. All horses, most horses, I believe, have an amazing ability to connect with people. Of course, you need to have the right tempered horse, but horses have this ability to mirror our emotions. So it's just fun to kind of start out by introducing them to him. Sometimes they're so scared because he's so big, and they don't hardly even dare to get close to him. But as I fall all over him, I'm hugging him, I'm touching his mouth, I'm touching his ears. Sometimes I even go up underneath him and touch his belly to show them that he's safe, that it's okay. And then they kind of start warming up. And the first session is really just letting them connect with him. I tell them a little bit about him and why he's so good at working with kids. And then I give them the experience, the opportunity to lead him around. I give them the lead rope, and I teach them that if I show them the proper skill and steps to learn how to guide and control this big animal that's ten times larger than they are, that they can have control of him, they can be the boss of this big animal. And he will listen to them. He will do what they ask him to do. If they ask him in the right way. They just need to have a little training, a little information, and then I show them those steps, and they lead him around, and they can stop him and turn him and even make him back up, and they automatically feel empowered. They get really excited, and then I share with them that it's the same thing with their mind and their emotions. All they need to do is learn how to communicate and how the skill of how to do it. And once they know those things, they can be the boss of their mind and their emotions as well. And that leads into the conversation, more conversation about what do you feel and what do you think about and what makes you happy and what makes you sad or afraid or all those other emotions, and kind of get into the struggles that they have. And we just start teaching them those skills and tools and then applying that to their inner world. And it becomes the horse, kind of, as we go on, the horse becomes a physical manifestation of their mind, of their inner mind, and showing them how to manage it, how to communicate with it. As we get to do that, I teach them the skills of managing their mind. The horse becomes that tangible, physical thing that gives them that physical experience of an inner mental principle, if you will.
Melissa: Yeah.
Dorthy: And all of a sudden, it clicks. They kind of understand it because you're showing them an example.
Melissa: Yeah. That's amazing.
Dorthy: Along that road of showing them those things, they're also connecting to this horse, and the horse responds to them in different ways, which brings up other questions. If they're feeling nervous and tense and scared, the horse will mirror that, and then I'll ask them, why do you think he's responding that way? And that brings up a whole other conversation, and I share with them, if you want him to be calm and quiet, then you need to feel calm and quiet. How can we do that? So it morphs into this amazing experience where they get to really talk about how they're feeling.
Melissa: Yeah.
Melissa: Are you sitting riding next to them and kind of chatting with them through this experience, or what does that look like?
Dorthy: I'm right there next to them on the ground.
Melissa: Okay.
Dorthy: I have more control that way because I always, especially with all of my students and clients, I have a lead rope also attached to the horse. So as we move into the second and third session, where they're actually on top of the horse, they have the reins and they're guiding the horse. They can move and change direction and stop and back up. But I also have a lead rope attached to the bridle so that I also have control if I need to step in.
Melissa: Yeah.
Dorthy: For any reason. So there is that safety.
Melissa: Right.
Melissa: That makes sense.
Dorthy: Yeah.
Melissa: That's great.
Melissa: Well, yeah, I think that is ingenious. And as someone who's struggled before with mental health and gone to therapy myself, I have not ridden a horse, but I have found that experience through running. Some of the things that you're describing is what running has done for me. That when you can find those metaphors for the physical thing you're doing, for having the strength, for having the power to keep going, or for being kind to yourself at what you accomplished. I've discovered myself in running, but I think it's amazing that there are so many different ways that we can do that. And I can see that some kids would definitely connect with doing it with a horse and with that experience.
Dorthy: Yeah, absolutely. It helps so much to have a physical way to feel that mental principle.
Melissa: Right.
Melissa: Well, we always love hearing kind of the personal stories. Were there any that you could share to kind of illustrate how some of this has worked out or been beneficial to those kids that you're working with?
Dorthy: Yes, absolutely. There's so many. I was thinking through them all, and.
Melissa: There'S always a lot to share.
Dorthy: Narrow it down. But one of the first people that I worked with was a 15 year old girl, and she was struggling with really severe anxiety, especially at school. For whatever reason, it was really bad at school. And her mother shared with me that she was just so worried about her because she would call from school, literally curled up in a ball, not able to function. And it was during that time, right after Covid, when it was very challenging to get into anyone and see a therapist. And her daughter was very hesitant to see a therapist. And so I said, well, if you want to try this with the horses, it might make her feel comfortable. And I asked her if she enjoyed animals. And of course, most kids enjoy animals, but she had never been around horses before. It was all new. So she came and we started working with her, and we did several equine therapy sessions to learn some of the conscious skills and tools. And then as we got through the equine sessions, we did some of the hypnotherapy sessions, which help clear out the subconscious, predominant beliefs that are negative, that are holding you back. And to see the change that she experienced was so fun. And then eventually, we got to be able to get to that point where we started talking about, what do you want to create in your life? We've gotten to the point where your anxiety is feeling better now. What do you want more of. Right. And she had some very specific goals that she wanted to accomplish. And these goals involved traveling, seeing new places, going to different countries and experiencing the culture and the food and the climate and all these new things which of course, having anxiety would really hold you back from doing. She is now getting ready to graduate high school and has filled out all the paperwork to travel. I'm not sure what the organization is that she is working through, but you get the opportunity to go to a different country and teach English.
Melissa: Oh, wow.
Dorthy: And she was just able to put in all of the paperwork and get everything scheduled. So she will be leaving and going to Taiwan to be able to do that, to teach English.
Melissa: That's amazing.
Dorthy: She is so, so that to see that transition in her has been really exciting and really fun. Really rewarding.
Melissa: Yeah.
Melissa: And that's such a great experience. Again, from personal experience, to go from managing each day to, like you said, after you learn how to do that.
Melissa: Oh, wow.
Melissa: Now what do I want to do? What things can I add to my life now that it's not just managing step by step 1ft in front of the other each day? So that's so powerful, right?
Dorthy: Yeah. It's about everybody wants to feel better, but we don't want to just survive. We want to thrive. We want to thrive and create an amazing life. And so that's the goal.
Melissa: Yeah. That's great.
Melissa: Were there any others you wanted to share?
Dorthy: Sure. I have one of the more recent little girls that I've been working with. She just barely turned eight.
Melissa: That's pretty young.
Dorthy: That is young. That's about the youngest I work with. Her mother reached out to me because she was struggling with relationships in her family. They had recently shared, well, I guess when she was five, they shared with her that she was adopted. And her mother noticed that after learning that, some of the things started changing and she was concerned because she wanted to catch it before it got too bad or got any worse. She was having a little bit of anxiety. She was very quiet and she was just wanting to help her feel better. She also was concerned because at certain times she would have extreme reactions to things. She said it's time to go get her flu shot again. And she literally loses it when it's that time I have to wrestle her. She screams, she hits and kicks. She really kind of loses her mind when that time comes. And it was very traumatic for working. I began working with her and to see the connection she made with Levi has been fun. All of the kids absolutely love him and she spends probably more time hugging him, petting him, loving on him than writing him. It's so fun, the connection that they've made, but we've worked through some things and talked about some things, and she's done so well. She just opened up. And again, seeing that ability that the horses have to just put them at ease and to bring out the wonder and the excitement in them, it just creates such a great working environment. So that's been. We started working with her probably about three months ago, and she went to get her flu shot, and her mom came back. And when she came back for the last session, she said, well, she got her flu shot. She's excited to tell you about it. And she was so excited to go see Levi, she couldn't tell me about it. So her mom told me about it, and she said she walked right into the medical office, sat down in the chair, told me where she wanted me to sit, told me what she wanted me to do to help her feel comfortable. Started her breathing and just let it happen. And she never made a peep. She didn't even seem nervous. And she said the best result was having her siblings watch her and realize, wow, if she can be that way, we should be that way, we can be that way. She said it was nothing short of miraculous to see the change.
Melissa: Yeah.
Dorthy: It's just so rewarding to be able to see a child feel in control and have feel like there's something they can do.
Melissa: Right.
Melissa: It's great to hear, to get that feedback, too. The afterwards, I'm sure, is rewarding for you.
Dorthy: It really is. It's so exciting to see that they feel better.
Melissa: Right?
Melissa: I'm sure, though I know as a therapist and helping people walk through emotional journeys, I'm sure that can be heavy and hard at times as well.
Dorthy: Yeah.
Melissa: So how do you navigate that and how do you remember and the why for why you're doing what you do?
Dorthy: Well, unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, I've had a.
Melissa: Little bit of both, a lot of.
Dorthy: Life experience, and I think that's kind of why I was directed to go to this place. I never imagined myself doing this, but I've experienced some big things in my life. I've experienced the loss of a child in a very tragic accident. I've experienced this suicide from a very close family member. I've had two children born with some pretty severe birth defects, coming very close to losing them as well, throughout that experience. So I know what those big emotions feel like, and I know also what it feels like to be able to have some control, to know what to do, to know how to handle them. And it makes all the difference in the world to feel like you have some skills and some ways to manage those big emotions so they don't overwhelm you to the point where you can't function. And everybody deserves to have those skills. Everybody deserves to understand. When I ask someone, I do this with all my clients, I ask them, if I ask you to picture a car, your car, the picture pops right into your mind. If I ask you to picture your house, picture of your house pops right into your mind. But if I ask you to picture your mind, what picture comes to your mind? And most people don't know how to answer that. They've never even thought about it. And so if we don't have any understanding of what the mind even is, much less how it functions, how can we feel like we have any control? So being able to teach these things and then go deeper and find out what those predominant subconscious beliefs are that are affecting our habitual feelings and responses, it's something that everybody needs to understand.
Melissa: Yeah.
Dorthy: And deserves to understand to feel better.
Melissa: Right.
Melissa: I appreciate you sharing that. You've had your own experiences you've had to walk through many times, and that makes it so you want to help others as they're walking through their own.
Dorthy: Yeah. And it's so rewarding and it's so exciting to see that light turn on in their eyes and to understand that, oh, nothing's wrong with me, I just didn't know how to manage it.
Melissa: Right.
Dorthy: And now that I know I can do better. Right?
Melissa: Yeah.
Dorthy: And once I start doing better, then there's no limits. There's only amazing possibilities of what you can accomplish, what you can create. And that's when life gets really exciting.
Melissa: Right.
Melissa: Or you don't have to be scared about anything that life might give you because you can have confidence in yourself that you can handle it.
Dorthy: Exactly. Yeah. And I think when we feel that, when we know and have that little bit of confidence, my real goal is to first of all teach them how the mind works so they have a better understanding, then how to positively manage it. And then, okay, now what do you want to create more of? Right. And as they do that, as they go through those steps, they have a better understanding of who they really are. Who at the deepest part, who are they really? And they begin to appreciate and love who they really are. And that's exciting too.
Melissa: Yeah.
Melissa: Well, I have appreciated all of these thoughts you've shared. I feel like, I'm back in a good therapy session. Makes me want to think and ponder and see things I can work on. But that's great. And I was really looking forward to this episode as well, because on this podcast we do cover service, and a lot of times I have nonprofits or things, but I love showcasing because this is work that you do. This is a business for you, right? Being a therapist in any form is very much a serving profession. And so I love that we finally get the chance to highlight that your livelihood and the things that you naturally do each day can also be a service to those around you.
Dorthy: Yes, absolutely.
Melissa: So making money with it does not discount the good that you're doing. Want to get that message out there?
Dorthy: Yes, that is important.
Melissa: Well, I love to end with just any advice and encouragement. And so I had kind of two thoughts for the advice and encouragement you might be able to give is first, of course, anyone that might be listening, that is struggling in any way and is looking for the strength or courage to reach out and get some help. Any advice or encouragement you could give to them. And then number two, how others can.
Melissa: Take the good things in their life.
Melissa: That they're good at, the talents like you have, and meld them into something that works for them, either in serving.
Melissa: Others or in a profession or in.
Melissa: Any of those ways. So if you just want to touch on those two things, that would be great.
Dorthy: Yeah, super. So as far as wanting to feel better, wanting to get help, we all need help. I have dear friends that are phds and have all this learning and all this education, and they need help. It doesn't matter who we are, how strong, how amazing, how educated. We all need help from other people. Nobody knows everything. And so first off is, don't feel less than or somehow lacking or bad about yourself because you need some help with something that you don't understand. And then I am a firm believer that there's someone for everyone. I'm not going to be the best fit for everyone, but there is someone for everyone that can fill in that need that they have, and you just have to look for it. So start looking with the faith that you will find the right person for you. It's a good thing to ask for help. It's a sign of strength because we all need it, whether we know it or not.
Melissa: Absolutely.
Dorthy: And to connect with someone that wants to help is the best feeling in the world, because all of a sudden, you don't feel alone anymore. I recently worked with a young lady who had just lost a dear friend of hers. And of course, that death was tragic because he was young, right? And she felt so lost and so overwhelmed by that loss of that friend and kind of was blaming herself in a way that she hadn't been there for them more. She hadn't taken all those opportunities to be with them when she could have been with them. And that emotion was becoming so overwhelming to her that she couldn't really function in school, in other relationships. It was robbing her of her life. And so, obviously, when we can't see our way out of something, we need to reach out to someone that's not in the middle of it, that can see the way out. Sometimes that can just be a friend. So whatever you do, wherever you choose to ask for help, reach out. It's a good thing and you deserve it. You deserve to not go through those things alone.
Melissa: Right.
Melissa: Great advice. No one needs to suffer alone.
Dorthy: Absolutely. We're here together for a reason.
Melissa: Right.
Dorthy: And then as far as having the courage to step out and help and serve and develop your abilities and your talents, it is scary. Like I said, I never could have anticipated or predicted that this is what I would be doing at this stage in my life. But I think as you focus in on the things that you feel drawn to, that you feel passionate about, I think it's just kind of a universal law that as you take step after step after step, you'll kind of be guided. I am definitely a believer in that. If it's a good thing, you will be guided to the next step. And you just have to have the faith and the courage to take those little steps forward. I didn't know what this was going to look like. I didn't know how I was going to combine these two different things together. And I know there's lots of different ways that it could be done, but we each have our own unique, special skill sets, and I think that's what's going to make our community and our world an amazing place, is if we each use our own special skill sets to create beautiful things in the world. So you don't have to be perfect at it. It doesn't have to look like everyone else's. You might not know what it's going to look like in the end, but if you just keep taking those little steps, it's going to be unique and perfect, and it's going to fit a need that is out there no matter what area you're going into. There's so many needs and there's so much diverse things in the world that we need each person to develop their own unique talents and abilities and share it. So just keep taking those steps. I know that I'm nowhere near the fulfillment of what I'm going to create. I know I can see things that I want to build more on. I can see things where I want to expand, and that's exciting. And I think that's part of what makes you want to get up every day.
Melissa: Right? Right.
Dorthy: What makes life that adventure. So don't be afraid to take the next step.
Melissa: Definitely don't be afraid to say yes again. I just think it's so cool that you've taken something, a love that you've had your entire life, and then melded it with some of that new education you got and learned for these experiences. I just think that's really neat.
Dorthy: It's been fun.
Melissa: Well, this has been a great conversation. Dorothy, thank you so much for being willing to come on the podcast today to share more about what you do, to give us all a little bit of reminders and a little therapy ourselves. It's always good to remember some of.
Melissa: Those things and the encouragement you've given as well.
Melissa: So thank you.
Dorthy: Yes, I've loved it. Thanks for inviting me.
Melissa: That was my interview with Dorothy Haskell, talking about the equine therapy that she does with children and teenagers to help them navigate and manage their emotions. And she had so many great things to share there. Obviously, I loved that interview. It was a mini therapy session for me. Such good reminders.
Melissa: And I loved how she just laid.
Melissa: Out kind of her goals as she works with each of her clients. That, number one, she wants to help them understand the mind, and then, number two, to give them the skills so that they can positively manage their mind and their emotions and the things going on with their body. And then after they've learned how to do that, asking that great question, now, what do you want to create more of? Such a good reminder that everyone, as she said, deserves to be able to have those skills and to reach that point where they have the desire, the energy, and the passion to think about what's next instead of trying to just manage each day. And I also just loved hearing how she's taken this lifelong love that she's had of horses, this wonderful pet that she has, Levi. And she's used those experiences and melded them with her experiences as a hypnotherapist to create what she does now with her therapy practice. And I also mentioned on there that for her, this is a business, this is a livelihood for her but it's very much performing a service, and there are many professions out there that I think we could consider service professions. But since we're talking about mental health with this one, I just want to give a final shout out to all those that work in the mental health and therapy professions that you very much are doing a good work, a good service, and it's very much needed today. And I personally am grateful for the good therapists that I've had and for people like Dorothy that use their time, talents, and skills to help those that need help navigating life's challenges and managing their emotions and their experiences so they can reach a place where they themselves can then use their skills to reach out and serve those around them. It's a beautiful thing. So if you've enjoyed this episode, show the podcast some love, either by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, or if you know a good therapist out there or someone that would benefit from the conversation that we've had today, please.
Melissa: Share this episode with them.
Melissa: Thank you so much for being here. I'll see you next time.