84. ‘My Story Matters’ and Promoting Healing and Inspiring Hope Through the Recording of Personal Stories (with Founder and Executive Director, Amy Chandler)

One of Amy Chandler’s missions with her nonprofit is to be a catapult for lasting transformation. She is the Founder and Executive Director of 'My Story Matters' and they’ve developed courses to help people take ownership of their story and have the tools they need to live with intention and create real change in their lives.

Amy emphasizes that their curriculum is really for anyone, but she’s had the opportunity to lead these courses in many places, including the prison system. Amy currently visits the prison three days a week, and some of the stories she shares about her experiences there are beautiful and touching.

Listen to this episode to learn more about 'My Story Matters' and why they truly believe everyone deserves a path to second chances.

Links mentioned in the episode:

My Story Matters Website

My Story Matters Instagram

My Story Matters Facebook

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Transcript

Melissa: Today, I'm speaking with Amy Chandler, the executive director and founder of My Story Matters. And this nonprofit goes into many spaces with the curriculum and courses that they've developed to help people live with intention and to rewrite or even create their story.

And Amy shares a lot of her experiences, but I think what stood out to me the most on this podcast were some of the beautiful experiences and opportunities she's had to work with people in the prison system and really reinstill hope to them and the lives that they're living.

So here's this episode. It's a great one. Amy Chandler. My Story Matters.

Welcome to the Do Something More podcast. The show all about service, where we highlight the helpers who inspire us all to do something more. If you're passionate about nonprofits or looking for simple ways to volunteer and give back to the causes that matter to you, this is the podcast podcast for you.

I'm your host, Melissa Draper. Stick around and I'll show you all the many ways anyone can truly make a difference in our world today.

Welcome to another episode of the podcast. Today we are featuring the nonprofit My Story Matters. And I'm going to let our guests get a little more into the details of that.

But I love basically their idea of promoting healing and inspiring hope through the recording and framing of stories and encouraging people to share their stories. So today on the podcast, I have my guest who is the president of My Story Matters, Amy Chandler.

Amy, welcome to the podcast.

Amy: Oh, thanks so much, Melissa. Happy to be here.

Melissa: It's great to have you. Why don't we just start off by having you introduce yourself a little bit and then go into the basic mission of My Story Matters.

Amy: Yeah. So I'm the executive director here at My Story Matters, the founder as well.

I have four amazing teenage children that keep me very, very busy and an incredible husband who is my number one support in this mission for sure. And we've been really in the trenches of this work for the last almost 15 years that we've been working here at My Story Matters.

And what started out as an idea to show up for humans and help them be recognized who they are and have permission to create something incredible for the future, regardless of what the current chapter looked like, has been something that has grown and expanded and kind of continues to ripple out.

And the ultimate goal of My Story Matters is to help all humans live a life of intention and purpose, regardless of what access to that has looked like in the past, really.

And so we show up with a curriculum. It's a 12 principle curriculum that helps individuals discover and find voice for what they truly want in their life. For many, that means taking off the barriers and the boxes and shattering the ceilings of what we thought was possible and allowing ourselves to, like, dig deep in our soul to find out what's burning inside of us to do.

And once we find voice for what that is, then we empower them with a set of tools to go out and create that. So our work here is not so much on capturing their story.

They're autobiography, if you will. It's reaching to the past to discover what we've learned and what the building blocks are for the future. Analyzing our current present to decide what needs to shift and change and what we want.

And then we spend the bulk of the time creating a future that we can be incredibly excited about.

And that work takes us into a lot of spaces. Like, we're just in so many different spaces. And it's because every human deserves the opportunity to create a life that they want and to live with intention and purpose.

And so that. That looks like us coming into some of the most vulnerable spaces of society.

That looks like prisons and homeless shelters and foster care organizations and working in the juvenile justice system and.

And working in the community with everybody who's looking to change something in their chapter. It might be the mom who just sent the last kid off to kindergarten and is like, now what?

I gotta create a new chapter? Right. Or the empty nester, or someone whose life has just had a drastic shift.

We come into corporations and train at the corporate board table one on one with, you know, business owners and their staff and help create a culture that creates something that they really, truly want.

So over the. Over the last 15 years, we've helped just over 14,000 people transform their story and empowered them to go live a life as a creator, to create. And ultimately, ultimately, I hope they look in the mirror every day and say, my story matters.

It matters enough to step in and be the author of that story and create something that I'm really, really excited about.

Melissa: Yeah, I love that as someone who's done therapy, it just sounds like some good therapy sessions almost. Is that that idea of owning who you are and get ridding, you know, getting rid of the shame, but then being able to take that to own the future that you want to have?

Amy: Yeah. Our classes are set up in. In a therapeutic group. It's a group of like 10 to 12 people that are going to come together and walk this journey. And we learn from one another's stories as we do that, and we Provide that basic psychoeducation.

Our framework is approved by the National Academy of Social Work here in Utah. And they're time tested and evidence based and research based and all the things that really matter and show that this works.

But our favorite credential is that it's people proven. We get to watch people transform their lives every single day.

Melissa: You mentioned there some of the different populations and spaces you go. Sounds like, I mean, like you said, almost any. Anyone could benefit from this.

But I noticed especially on your website, you some of the numbers talked about working with those who have been incarcerated. Do you want to talk a little bit about that area of your work?

Amy: Yeah. About three and a half, almost four years ago, we entered the incarceration space here in the state of Utah. We work in both of the prisons, both in Gunnison and at USCF up in Salt Lake.

And that work has continued to expand, expand and grow. And we work not only with the residents there, but also with the staff to empower both sides of the aisle with these tools to live with intention and purpose and increase the emotional intelligence of all humans.

Right. As we learn to understand the emotions that are driving the journey that we're all on. And that has been just a real privilege to be in that space a lot of my personal time.

So I'm there three full days a week inside the prisons itself. And so it's a big piece of my journey and one of my favorite spaces to teach.

Melissa: Yeah, that was the number I noticed on your website where it said that 99% of the graduates that have been incarcerated in your program remain non re incarcerated, which. Wow.

That a huge statistic for anyone that's familiar with that population. That's impressive.

Amy: It's true. The, the numbers, the recidivism rate, that's the technical statistical term. Right. Those will return to ra. Incarceration is pretty high for the state of Utah. It has been. And there are many efforts contributing statewide.

There are a lot of efforts being implemented to reduce that and to help people be successful in, in their transformation journey. And we've been a privilege to be a part of that.

And the numbers have been quite high. And so this is an exciting trend that we're seeing with the individuals who are completing our program, all, all of the program. So if they dip their toe in like, you know, we're following those individuals as well and we'll see.

But with those who are completing the full three rounds of what we offer there, we're seeing that they're very successfully building a new life that Looks a lot different than the old.

And we'll continue to follow them. We, you know, our goal is to follow them, you know, as long as they'll let us stay connected to them, but at least for the next three to five years, really, intentionally, to ensure that it lasts.

Because our mission here is that we are a catalyst for lasting transformation. We tell people, I hope you're motivated and inspired along the way. But what we're here for is to deliver tools and use a methodology that brings the results, that it lasts, that this is.

Becomes a lifestyle and then not just a class that I took.

Melissa: Right.

Amy: That.

Melissa: And that requires a lot of, like you said, vulnerability and digging really deep for any individual, any of us that want to enact change in our lives. Yeah, yeah.

Amy: There's a lot of work. We. It's built upon a nautical theme. So we invite them to get on a ship with us and learn to captain their story.

And so there's a lot of imagery that we use in the process. And we tell them on day one, this is a workboat, not a cruise ship. Wish I had buffets and pools and sunshine, and I do not.

What we have is a lot of work, deep personal work to be done. And if you do the work, it works 100% of the time. And you get to choose if you're going to actually captain your story.

Melissa: Well, it's obvious from those numbers that you've been able to meet many that are willing to do the work and are ready for that invitation and something. Another quote from the website I really love that you said is that we are passionate about providing paths to second chances.

Do you want to just expound on that for a little bit, too?

Amy: Well, so many of the individuals we meet, not just in incarceration, but, you know, in any of those spaces I mentioned, life's. Life's dealt a set of cards that have been difficult and challenging and whatever that looks like.

Whether there's mental health challenges, maybe they're debilitated with anxiety or depression, or perhaps they're just really struggling deep in grief, or maybe they've lost their housing security. You know, there's so many things that can rock our worlds for a minute, and as we meet them, we want to help them understand that that is those events and perhaps the crimes committed like that is not who you are.

That is something that happens to you and something you have done. And we want to remind them who they are and help them remember that and stand in the strength of who they ultimately are.

And then with that strength, they can go and create what they want for the future. And so I think all of us find ourselves in opportunities where a chapter of our life feels like we need a reset.

We need a second chance. Right. And in the trend, in the trenches of these vulnerable spaces, it looks like a complete reset. Right. And I don't think they're alone in the struggle of walking through difficult chapters.

Melissa: Well, I think that what. That's what seems so unique about what you do is many non profits are providing more of the temporal things that people need, which is definitely important because we gotta take care of that.

Amy: Yeah. If basic needs aren't met, then we can't even begin to engage in the creation of something new. Right, right, right. Critical piece.

Melissa: They're kind of that first step of providing that so people can even start to get the footing. And then it seems yours is the next step that allows them to keep that footing and instead to build on it and to keep moving forward.

Amy: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. We like to, as we work with different organizations, you know, we're partnered with circles and, you know, Food and Care Coalition here and the Refuge and other. Other organizations that provide incredible, incredible services that we do not.

And we partner with them to help as they stabilize them and kind of stabilize the crisis. Then we can come in and help build this foundation and. And empower them with a framework that they can put every life struggle through for success.

And then all the other programming and all the other support that's being offered by these incredible organizations in our communities sticks.

Melissa: Right.

Amy: Because there's this. This framework that they can attach everything to and make sense of their journey with. And there's just nothing like it when you can combine, like, all of the good together with that.

So we like to bolster and support incredible organizations that are already in the trenches stabilizing the crisis. Yeah, yeah.

Melissa: Most definitely. You mentioned a couple we featured on the podcast. So I love that reminder to all of us that how much nonprofits really are banded together in the good work that they do, even if they might be serving different areas.

You're all on the same team.

Amy: Yeah. And we can't all do everything for all people. It'll never work. But if we can say this is the piece that we do well. Right. And then we. We help take them on a journey to.

To help them fully stabilize over all the resources, I think. And. And we're seeing that. I mean, Utah county is a real strong point with that, I think, is that we connect and we collaborate and we cooperate, and that's been just a Joy to be a part of all of the good that's here.

Melissa: Yeah, that is, that's wonderful. Well, we always love to hear stories here on the podcast, so I would love to hear if you have a couple of stories you would like to share with us that kind of illustrate more about how my story matters, functions and illustrates the good that you've been able to see and, and do an experience.

Amy: Well, you know, my story matters. Right. So I got about 14, got a house.

Melissa: Yeah.

Amy: And it's, you know, it's interesting because I feel like I get this really beautiful opportunity when you're guiding a class and you're working with a cohort of individuals. I get, I get the privilege of seeing day one and then seeing, you know, six months later, I get to see that transformation that happens.

And so we get to talk about these successes. And I say all the time, like, I love the testimonial that come in and the stories that are shared. And I'm always like, oh, I wish we also had day one.

I wish, I wish there was a way to communicate the, the depth of, of what it means in the transformation and the work that's being done. And, and so we'll try to represent some of that, but I'll just share a few from some of the spaces and that would be great.

1. I met one individual in prison and he was, he has a life sentence. He will serve 244 years. And so he, he will not come home. And he showed up to class and there were a lot of people that ask him, like, why are you here?

What are you going to create for the future? Like, why in the world would you invest in this? He said, I don't know. I just felt something and my friends were all coming, and so I'm here.

And as we started to ask him, what do you want? What do you really, really, really want? No limits, no ceilings, no boxes. What do you want? It took him weeks, months to even find voice for that because it was really, really hard to let go of the.

Well, what I want is to get out of here. And we're like, and if we don't, if we're not leaving here, what do you want your, the rest of your life to look like?

Do you want to create? You want to let life happen to you? And he had to discover. And the first thing that kind of came to mind, we were always telling them, we, like, I am a fierce advocate for the impossible.

We get to watch impossible miracles every day. So it hasn't been done before. Let's go. How about you? Right? And so he was like, fine, I'm gonna choose the impossible.

I wanna become a helicopter pilot. And he started writing about that and researching that and getting books about that. And he just like dove into this idea of becoming a helicopter pilot, knowing that he will die in prison.

And it was inspiring to watch him lean into the tools and to start to come alive, to start to have hope that there could be possibility and purpose for his future.

And he's almost two years into our program now. He's now one of our guides. He teaches classes with us on the side. He has allowed these tools to transform him.

And he originally chose the identity statement I am kind.

And there was a wrestle and there was a battle. And he shared his journal, his six month journal with us through this battle. Battle of like owning I am kind and how people would test that and how he was like, no, if I'm, I am kind, how do I, how do we react right now?

If I'm kind, how do I show up with this person right now? How do I deal with this challenge right now? How do I, how do I answer this phone call right now?

Right? And he talked about the journey and the wrestle. And now there, that is the word that everyone who knows him would use. Like, I would, I would say he is probably the kindest human that I have ever met.

And his vision has shifted to not just a helicopter pilot, but he's a rescue pilot.

And he is finding purpose in rescuing those who have lost hope, rescuing those who see no way out, rescuing those that are about to hit the streets and don't know what to do.

And he's, he's getting them to class and he's helping mentor them as a guide in the class. And every day he comes in and says, I am a rescue pilot and these are the people I am serving.

And that idea of it would be impossible for me to be a helicopter pilot has actually turned into what it was really about, was being able to help people. And I can do that here today and I can do that for the next 244 years, right?

I get the opportunity to show up. I am kind and I'm a rescue pilot and I get to live my vision and as I like get to sit there with him.

It's so inspiring to watch an individual literally come from complete hopelessness to purpose and passion, every day paying for something that he did, that justice must be served on and allow the human an ability to grow and develop and transform.

Right? So it's been super powerful to watch his story.

Melissa: Yeah. Such a unique opportunity. That's a beautiful story. And I just kept thinking, such a unique opportunity for those of you that first go in there to just as you said, justice has to be served.

We can't erase that away. But at the same time, for you to be able to look an individual in the eyes and just see them where they are at and what they can still accomplish and give, I think is a beautiful opportunity.

Amy: Well, we go in there and we. Day one, we ask them what their first name is.

And it takes a minute for them to tell us their name because it's been decades since anyone's asked who they are. They go by their number like I'm 142692.

They don't use their name. They have a nickname, you know, a prison nickname. And they have a number. But no one's asked them their first name since they booked in.

And we asked them who they are and we get a lot of comments weeks later. It's been interesting to hear. They talk about how the first day of class is so weird because these people are looking at you so strange.

They try to make sense of it. And they have said, and then I realize that's what it looks like when someone believes you're human.

Melissa: Wow.

Amy: They look at me like a human. And it's been so long since I've seen that that I didn't recognize it. Right. And. And we speak hope and possibility and for the impossible, which they haven't thought about for a minute.

And so it. It reinvigorates. There was a woman we were working with in the women's prison. She made a really powerful statement. She recently released. But while she was in there, she said, because of this, my grandchildren will never not know their grandmother.

My children never knew their mother.

And now my grandchildren will never not know their grandma because I know who I am and I know what I will do moving forward. And there's a lot of pain in that statement.

Right. There's a lot of hard from years of self destruction and not understanding why. And now that she understands why and she can now stand as an active agent in creating what she wants for the future.

She knows she has the capacity to succeed and she knows she has a team of people she can reach out to to keep that success. I met with another gentleman in prison this week and.

And he's been trying to find voice for his vision. And the first week he's like, I. Like, I really don't know. And then he came back a few Weeks later.

And he was like, freedom. My vision is freedom. I was like, okay, why start writing about that? See what you come back to? And he comes back the next week, and he goes, I have to start all over.

And I said, why? And he said, because it can't be freedom. The vision can't be freedom. And I said, talk to me about that. And he said, I've been chasing freedom my whole life.

I get locked up and I gotta get outta here. I just gotta be free. And then I get out to the world, and the stresses and the pressures of trying to succeed and make it on my own and get through all the hoops and take care of everything and not fail becomes so overwhelming that I have to go back because I need free from the pressures of life.

And then I get in here and I'm like, what did I do? This isn't what I want. I need to be free. He goes, I've been chasing freedom my entire life.

I need a new vision.

And that, like, that awareness is so powerful because that is the. That's the catalyst. That's the launching pad. It's like, if it's not freedom, then what is it? And you get to find it.

And it's been fun to watch him discover what it is that is invigorating him and. And wanting him to do something more.

Melissa: Yeah. And I think that that might be what's so powerful about what you do, is we individuals are more likely to change when you have kind of pulled out those answers from yourself again, going back to good therapy.

Right. A good therapist doesn't tell you what to do. They help you and help you see that you have the ability within yourself to make it through and. And to solve and to.

To see the power that you have to take care of those situations. So that's really powerful.

Amy: And it work. It works for. It works for every human that's willing to work. Right. And I work with a lot of young adults. There's a little bit of, like, I call it paralysis analysis going on.

Melissa: Right.

Amy: They watched the world shut down during COVID They watched everything that seemed safe and secure disappeared. And so they're afraid to choose a major. They're afraid to choose a career path, because what if that career path has gone with the next challenge that shows up?

There's this, like, what if game swirling and. And can I be enough and do enough? And is it safe? And all of these things. And there's just this, like, big unknown sitting out there, and they want to get it right.

They want to get it right. And they don't know what to do. And the what if game just raises all those emotions, right? Like, the anxiety of all of those thoughts that swirl.

And it starts out as, like, well, what if this happens? And what if this happens? By the end of the day, it's turned into 400 concerns because they're swirling and we can't get away from them, right?

Amen.

Melissa: I've been there, right?

Amy: And they're like, no, I can't do anything. I'm out. Like, you see them just isolating and pulling in because they're just. They. They're just hungry to know that there's possibility and hope for the future and that they can get it right.

And they're. They don't understand the emotions that they're feeling and what to do with them. And as we sit with them and we empower them with this framework, it has been so fun to watch them come alive and take life by the horns and say, like, I am ready.

I'm ready. Like, I don't have to, like, cower in the basement and not talk to people anymore. I don't have to, like, hide. I don't have to be so consumed with overwhelming emotion that there's nowhere to go.

And we just worked with a young man who had a desire to serve in an LDS church mission. And he.

He. He went out and the overwhelm of the unknown became really debilitating to him. And. And he came home and he felt like, man, why couldn't I figure that out?

And for months, just struggled, like, how am I ever going to succeed, right? Like, all the. All the. All the concerns just swirling. And he came to class and really applied himself, and he.

It's on fire. I'm like, look out, world. Like, there is nothing that this man will not do. He's, you know, crushing it in. In school. He's working to build an employment structure that is uniquely his skill set and is fun to watch.

And he's happy. And he's. And his relationships and his family are thriving again. And we work with just so many young adults who, once they see the tools, they're like, ah, I can do this.

I can create life.

I am the creator of my story, and I. I've got this. I now have a plan, and I now have tools, and this will work. And it. It's fun just to watch.

I mean, I could go through hundreds of stories all day, Melissa.

Melissa: So empowering.

I love it.

Well, how do people find you? Like, can people come to my story Matters as individuals or is most of what you do going out to different groups in the community?

Someone's listening and saying, man, I need some of this in my life. How do they, how do they find your organization or start being part of one of those courses?

Amy: Yeah, you can go to our website, My Story Matters. It has the s on the end.org

and you can, you know, put in an inquiry like, I'm interested for classes. We can send you all the information. We have online classes and in person classes. We have a lot of scholarships available for individuals 18 and older in the state of Utah.

So if you happen to be listening in from the state of Utah, we have a lot of scholarships available provided by the Department of Workforce Services, which we're just so grateful for.

And so you can apply for one of those if needed. And we, we have multiple classes that we offer, so if you just fill out the, like, hey, I'm interested in a class.

We'll send you all the info. We'll find one that works for you and get you plugged in. I always love the in person classes and when that is not available and, and the option is zoom and let's do it like, let's get these tools in your hands for sure.

And we have individuals who are interested in, like, I, you know, I would love to be a part of this and, and be able to, you know, certify and be able to help take this into the places that you're doing and.

Melissa: Right.

Amy: Our, our certification model is not small. So it, this is, this is deep work as you're saying. So this is a quick thing. It's not a weekend class. This is, the class is once a week for 90 minutes for, for 18 weeks.

Right. It's a, it's a commitment to come to class and then to certify it takes about a year because the formula is learn, live, leverage. So you must come through the course for yourself first and do your work and then live it, Live it and then we'll teach you how to leverage it and, and take it to others.

And so if that's pricking your heart, it's certainly a possibility. And it's a little bit of a commitment. And so, and we're always looking for people who have gifts and talents that want to help further the mission and the expansion.

Right.

So you can reach out and say, hey, I'm interested. What are all the ways that you need help right now? And we can tell you, we don't have those big service projects.

Bring your family, let's do a Hundred kids in an hour. But we do have ways for you to use your.

Use your gifts and talents here too, if that's something that's drawing you. And we recommend everybody start with their work and find a class to get started today.

Melissa: I think that is a great note to end on. And there are so many ways to, like you said, do that work and to start authoring your own story so well.

I will leave links to your website so anyone that wants to get involved can follow us on our, our social.

Amy: Media too, where my story matters. On Facebook, Instagram, you know, you can hear the stories and stay connected that way, too.

Melissa: That's great. I. Yeah, I'll put links to all of those. Do you want to just end with a final note with encouragement for anyone that maybe was listening to this and wants to dive into, as you said, doing their own work or helping someone around them do it as well.

What final words of encouragement would you give?

Amy: Yeah, to everybody. I would encourage you to get out a notebook and a pen. And right at that top of the page, if I could do anything in this world, I would.

And let your heart speak and see what you discover. That's the beginning point of allowing ourselves to truly actually ask ourselves, what do I want? And start to begin that work.

And when you, when you discover some of that, these tools make all the difference in the world. And I had someone ask me once how I would sum up, like, everything I've learned from all these spaces and all these stories.

Like, what have I learned about humanity?

Tall order. And I thought about it for a really long time. And the way that I have captured that to the best of my ability is this, that when we give voice and energy to our war stories, the things that have battered and bruised us, the things that have caused pain to us, it consumes us.

And when we choose to give voice and energy to creating a champion story, it transforms us. And so my challenge to everybody listening here is step into your champion story.

Stop giving voice and energy to the things that are hard and difficult. Don't give them power anymore. Step in. Choose to create your champion story, and it will literally transform you.

And it all starts with that first question. What do I want?

Melissa: Wow, Amy. Ah, that's so good. So good. Amen from me.

So thank you so much for coming on today and sharing your thoughts and the good work that my story matters does.

Amy: Thanks for the opportunity, Melissa. We need more people spreading good in this world. Thanks for being a part of that.

Melissa: That was my interview with Amy Chandler, the executive director and founder of My Story Matters. And as I said, I will leave links to her website and their social media pages in the show notes so you can learn more about them or get involved with their cause and the things that they're doing, or even donate to the good that they're doing.

And as a friendly reminder to you if you enjoyed this podcast, please follow along on Apple Podcasts or Spotify or wherever you listen to your podcasts, leave a review or share this episode with someone that you think could benefit from what we talked about on the podcast today.

And as always this week, I hope you find a way to do something more to help lift, inspire, or make a difference.