92. Rebroadcast: The Power of a Compliment

Looking for a very doable but also impactful way to serve someone around you today? Consider giving a genuine compliment, to a stranger or someone you know. It doesn’t need to feel forced either. Just take the good thoughts you’ve already had about somebody else, and have the courage to share them. You can do it through text, in person, or even write them a note.

I originally aired this episode in August of 2023, but I wanted to share it again because in it I tell a cool experience I had several years ago that taught me the true power a compliment can have. 

Giving a genuine compliment really is a beautiful way ANYONE can serve.

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Transcript

Melissa: I originally aired this episode in August of 2023, but I wanted to share it again. Several years ago, I had a neat experience that impacted me and taught me the true power a compliment can have, even with a stranger.

Listen to this episode to hear my story. I promise it's pretty cool and why I think complimenting others can be a great act of service.

Welcome to the Do Something More podcast, the show all service where we highlight the helpers who inspire us all to do something more. If you're passionate about nonprofits or looking for simple ways to volunteer and give back to the causes that matter to you, this is a podcast for you.

I'm your host, Melissa Draper. Stick around and I'll show you all the many ways anyone can truly make a difference in our world today.

Hello. Hello and welcome to another episode of the podcast.

So excited to have you here today because I'm going to be sharing a really cool story, something that happened to me a few years ago that really, I think illustrates the power that a compliment can have and shows how it can be an act of service, something good that you can do for someone else.

So I want to start with this story that again, shows the true power that a compliment can have. I think many of us are familiar with compliments. We've probably all given them.

We've probably, hopefully all gotten some at times.

And many times, sometimes we think of compliments as being about physical appearance or physical things, but they can really be for anything. They can be noticing someone's gifts and talents,

noticing the contributions they're making, or noticing something they did that you particularly liked or that touched you, or even noticing the time that someone is devoting to something. So there's lots of different things that we give compliments for.

And I think sometimes those physical compliments kind of get a bad rap, but I think there is still a place for them.

And many times they're the kind of compliments that we give to strangers, someone we don't know as well, but we want to compliment them. And that's my story. This story had to do with a more physical compliment, but it was a really neat experience for me and I really wanted to share it today.

So it happened a few years ago.

I was running some errands at the mall, of all places,

and I decided to stop in a store and just browse around,

I think because I was childless and didn't have any children with me. So that was one of those things we love to do as mothers, right? Steal those little moments away.

So I stopped in the store. And I was browsing around.

And as I was in there, I noticed there was just one girl that was working in there, kind of the salesperson, the worker. And she was moving around this kind of small store, just kind of arranging and fixing things for some reason.

I immediately noticed her hair. She had curly hair that was very similar to mine. I have curly hair, but her hair was cut pretty short, almost in a pixie cut.

And it looked so cute, it looks so good on her. And if you've had curly hair, you know that sometimes it can be an adventure, I will say, or maybe even a challenge to learn how to style it, make it look cute.

And so I think it's. It's common for those of us that have curly hair to notice other curly hair and to like or notice the things that we like about other people's curly hair.

That's something I still do. So I noticed this girl's shortcut curly hair and just how cute it looked. And I also thought, man, I wish I could pull off shorter cut curly hair like that.

Mine's a little longer, more kind of chin length. And I just was like, oh, I wish I could pull that off. That looks so good on her. And as I had that thought, I had another thought that immediately followed it that said, tell her.

Tell her what you just thought.

And at first I give people compliments, but this was a complete stranger, and I'd kind of been obsessing a little bit over her cute hair. So I was like, I don't know if I want to tell her what I thought.

I don't want to sound like a creeper or like I've been staring at her this whole time because I just admired her curly hair. But then it came again. Tell her.

Tell her the thought you had about her curly hair. And that thought came back a few times as I was there in the store. And then I decided to buy something, I think, and I took it up to check out with her.

And as she started checking me out at the register, I thought, okay,

right here, we're the only ones in the store. I'll tell her what I thought. So I looked at her and I said, I just want to. To tell you that I love your curly hair and I love the way you have it styled.

So short, so cute. I wish I could pull that off with my hair. It looks so good on you. After I said that, she kind of just stood there for a minute and looked at me, didn't do anything.

And my first thought was, oh, great. See, I Told you she thinks I'm weird or a creeper because she's just staring at me and this feels a little awkward now.

And then her eyes kind of got a little glossy, like she was going to get a little teary eyed. And then she paused and said, thank you so much for telling me that.

And I was like, oh, well, you're welcome.

I meant it really does look good. And she's like, no, really, you don't understand how much I needed to hear that today. Thank you so much. Then as I continued to talk with her and have a conversation,

she proceeded to tell me that just the day before, she had gone and gotten a haircut in preparation for her wedding that was going to be in just three weeks.

Her wedding was three weeks away. And so this had been kind of a preliminary styling just to prep and have her hair just right for her wedding.

And for some reason, the stylist that was working with her was either sick or not well or having a hard day and had just totally butchered her hair and had made it look not good at all, or like she even knew what she was doing.

She was devastated.

And so the manager at the salon she had gone to had told her she could come back a little later and she would fix her hair. And so she did that.

But in order for her to fix all the choppiness and things that had gone on, she'd had to cut off quite a bit of her hair. And now her hair was a lot shorter than what she had wanted.

Especially with her wedding coming up in three weeks. Right? Any woman that's been married, we all know how important that is, we want to look good on our wedding day.

It's a big day. So she told me this story, and I was like, oh, my goodness, I am so sorry. And I've had a bad haircut, so I totally can relate to being upset or even crying over a bad haircut.

I think there is no shame in that because I've been there.

She then proceeded to tell me, she said, seriously, this happened just yesterday. I was talking on the phone with my mom. I was crying to my fiance,

my roommate, she's like, they all told me it looked good and I looked fine,

but I didn't feel like I looked good. I didn't feel like I looked beautiful. So she said, thank you so much for telling me you liked my hair. And then again, I said, well, you're welcome, and you are going to be a beautiful bride, and you really do look beautiful,

and I hope you can fill some peace and joy on your wedding day. And that was it. And I went on my way,

really simple experience and it has not left me. I have remembered that every detail, almost of it because of the impact it had on me of just opening up my mouth, of just saying what I already thought.

And there's actually two things that stuck with me from that experience.

The first was I was a complete stranger.

I couldn't even tell you this girl's name. I don't know her name, how old she was, where she was from. I don't know anything other than that she was getting married soon.

And it was my words,

it was a stranger's words that she needed to hear because I'm sure she shared that. She talked with her mom and her fiance and her roommates and her friends. I'm sure they did all tell her she was beautiful and it was fine.

But you know how that is. As women, we don't always believe the people that are supposed to tell us we're beautiful when we're feeling that way.

And it was a complete stranger that she needed in that moment to reassure her. Someone who had no investment in the situation at all. To out of the blue say, you look beautiful, your haircut looks beautiful.

That's what she needed. And that is something I remembered because I think sometimes we think to be able to lift someone,

to be able to make a difference for someone, that we have to know them, we have to have a relationship with them. And very many times that's true. And we should be lifting the people that we have relationships with and we interact with.

But I think we sometimes discredit the real power that our words can have as a complete stranger. That sometimes that is exactly what someone needs.

They need your words, your perspective, your smile, the few moments you'll take to give them that encouragement or upliftment.

It's sometimes a stranger's that we need. And so we shouldn't discount that. We shouldn't discount the power of our kind words even to someone we don't know or we've just barely met.

So that was the first thing that stuck with me with that story,

is to not discredit the power of my words as a stranger. And then the second is that this experience was completely genuine. There was nothing crafted here, there was nothing thought about.

It was just all in the moment. I sincerely thought the thought that I had as another curly haired woman, it was sincere,

it was genuine. And so all I had to do was to open my mouth and share what naturally was there. The good thought I had already naturally had. And so that was the other thing that stuck with me is sometimes I think we overthink things a little bit in how we can help someone or the kind words we can say.

And yes, sometimes we do need to think about what we say. We shouldn't always just say everything that pops in our head. I for sure have learned that from personal experience.

But many times when we have a good thought, when we have a good encouraging thing that comes to mind, we can just share it. We can just open our mouths,

share the good thought that we had about another person. And sometimes it might be someone we know and we just send them a text and say, hey, I had this thought after I interacted with you.

Or I was watching this situation and I was so impressed with da da da da da. And it does not take a lot of effort to do that. And when we share those thoughts that are just so genuine, it's just an easy, really simple thing to do.

We don't have to think about it or stew over it. We just have to have the courage to share it. Those are my two biggest thoughts from that story is your compliments.

Your words can have effect even upon strangers. For the good. And that we don't always have to overthink it, that we can open our mouths with the good thought that we had.

And that's what I wanted to share here today. As you're going about the world or doing different things, don't discount the power of a compliment. Take the time, do a simple act of service,

and say the good thoughts that naturally come to you to another person. And really many times in this instance, I got to see a little bit of the difference that it made many times.

We don't always know the difference that it can make, but I truly believe that when we take the time to share goodness, to encourage, to uplift,

it always can be used for good purposes and to help and assist another person. That's an easy way to serve. It's a simple way to serve and I think it's something that regularly happens to all of us.

We're always noticing good things and we can tell the people around us what we notice and share those compliments. So that's my thought with you today. Take the power of a compliment to serve those around you.

And I just want to give the friendly reminder that if you enjoyed this episode or what you learned from it, please share it with some someone you know might also appreciate this message.

Or you can follow the podcast Wherever you listen to podcasts, leave a five star rating or review or also follow the podcasts on social media. And as always this week, I hope that you can find a way to do something more to help lift, inspire or make a difference.